The University of Rhode Island Lost by 77 on Saturday

Seventy-seven, man. The Rams lost by 77 points to the James Madison Dukes, 84-7, to fall to 1-8 on the season. Six of those eight losses have come by 20 or more points, four by 30 or more.

Just how high (low) did URI rise (sink) to on the grand scale of ineptitude on this particular Saturday though?

The appalling performance was the second-worst loss by a Division I team this season, including both the FBS and FCS. Only Michigan's 78-0 thumping of Rutgers surpasses Ray Bourque or Nate Solder's digits.

URI became just the second FCS team to give up 80-plus points in 2016, the first since Morehead State (Ky.) lost to James Madison, 80-7, on Sept. 3. (Tennessee-Martin beat Bacone College 84-6, but Bacone is in the NAIA, while Fordham put up 83 points vs. Elizabeth City State, a Division II school.)

So to be 100 percent transparent and fair, JMU is a very good FCS team. In the same conference as URI, by the way, so theoretically on the same playing field. 

The Dukes were ranked fifth in the polls coming into the weekend, owners of a 7-1 (5-0 CAA) record, its only loss to the FBS North Carolina Tar Heels. Only Sam Houston State, currently ranked No. 1 in the FCS, has scored more points (433) than James Madison (395). 

The Dukes set a program record with 84 points on Saturday, surpassing a 76-point outburst from 1995 vs. Morgan State (Md.) JMU is well on its way to the FCS playoffs again, looking very capable of an even higher nod than the No. 5 seed it earned a season ago. 

Speaking of the FCS playoffs, URI hasn't been there since 1985. 

They've had three winning seasons in the meantime, none since 2001. Since a 5-6 season in 2010 (for which then-head coach Joe Trainer won CAA coach of the year award), the Rams are 9-57 (.136 winning percentage), which includes a winless season in 2012. 

2012, 2013 and 2014 accounted for the three worst point-differentials in program history (-327, -243, -259). History which dates back to the 1800s. 

After being outscored by *only* 184 points in 2015 (another 1-10 season), URI's differential in 2016 is currently -244.

JMU's quarterback yesterday, Bryan Schor, basically looked like Tom Brady on crack with properly inflated footballs: 21 for 22, 309 yards, five touchdowns.

His counterpart on the Rams, Jordan Vazzano, had more interceptions (5) than completions to his own team (4). He was 4 for 25 overall with 12 passing yards.

I don't want to get on the players so much in this. It's not their fault just how in over their head they are. Who am I to criticize a kid for following their dreams of playing college football, no matter how sorry the program is?

But you know what really sucks? URI's next two games (at Elon, vs. Towson) are kinda sorta winnable. I mean they should lose both, but you never know because Elon is 2-6 with a -108 point differential, Towson is 1-7 with a -89. 

Those aren't exactly juggernauts standing in the way of the #RhodeToGreatness. 

Towson's loss to URI in the final game of the 2014 season denied a quest for a second winless season in a three year span, a denial of imperfection that causes me almost as many sleepless nights as David Tyree getting in the way of actual perfection. Almost. 

My fear is that even a 1-1 split in said games gets the Rams to 2-9 and will create enough of a false illusion of momentum moving forward to stay the course with Jim Fleming. Because any season in which your wins are over Brown (which can't give scholarships) and either Towson or Elon is about as momentous as Thursday Night Football's ratings following Jags-Titans.

What I want to happen, as I've been screeching for years now, is to put this embarrassing abomination of a football program out to pasture and invest in a Division I hockey program.

What will actually happen: Jim Fleming will get fired at the end of the season and the next poor bastard will step on in, commanding a contract that will cause the URI athletic department to not be able to pay Dan Hurley to stay after this year's eventual NCAA tournament run for men's hoops.

For whatever reason, 'hockey' is the H-word for the URI athletic department, much like your kindergarten teachers told you 'heck' was the forbidden H-word. Every other flagship state school in New England has a men's varsity hockey team, while all but UMass has a women's team as well.

Neither exist in Kingston.

There's also no varsity lacrosse team, men's or women's, on the campus at URI. There's no varsity field hockey team. There's no varsity men's swimming. No men's volleyball, no women's golf. 

I'm not gonna sit here and tell you I'd be a season ticket holder for any of those perspective teams, men's puck aside.

But I will tell you just because Rhode Island is the smallest state doesn't mean we can't have nice things. Cue the "it'll never happen" crowd when it comes to cutting football.

Of course its an eye sore to have to cut your football program. While URI is the only flagship school in New England without men's hockey, it would become one of just three flagship state schools in the country (University of Vermont, University of Alaska) without a varsity football team.

But what's the point of having a team just for the sake of having a team? I'm not seeing the correlation between having a football program and being without one as some sort of status symbol. 

Several URI contemporaries in recent years, namely former CAA opponents Northeastern and Hofstra, have cut their football programs. It's not like they've been relegated to the third world in college sports without a football team on campus.

There's also the issue of URI's field, Meade Stadium. Pretty much every high school field I've been to between both Massachusetts and Rhode Island is more structurally viable. I'm no engineer but one walk up and down those stands and you'll know what I mean.

I don't truly want URI to cut football. And I understand that the paydays from playing FBS schools ($500,000 for a 55-6 loss to Kansas this season, $400,000 for a 47-0 loss to Syracuse in 2015) are massive. 

What I want to happen is for URI to become a respectable program. To compete with its CAA contemporaries, such as UNH, Maine and Delaware every once in awhile. To have a winning season every now and again. Make a bad season 4-7, not 1-10 or 0-fer. I'm not looking to become the Alabama of the FCS.

I know better though. It's a sad, sad state of affairs in the Ocean State. 

Mediocrity never wins, but it sure reigns supreme for the brass in Kingston.

College Football Playoff Predictions

We are now in the last week of basing playoff predictions off of Associated Press rankings, as November 1st will bring us the official College Football Playoff rankings. If the committee decided to say "Screw it, let's play the playoff right now," we'd be looking at No. 1 Alabama vs. No. 4 Washington and No. 2 Michigan vs. No. 3 Clemson.

If the top four failed to change at all by the end of the season, and these were the matchups that we would see come New Year's Eve, I'd have some serious mixed feelings. First things first, I'm not totally sold on Washington yet. And to be honest, I don't think we'll be seeing them in the playoff. Sure, they've been absolutely stomping teams throughout this season. But so far the Huskies' wins have been the epitome of "quantity over quality." It's just tough to get quality wins when you're playing in a weak conference such as the Pac 12. At the time, their win over Stanford seemed pretty legit. However, it turns out that Stanford is one of the biggest busts in college football this year, right up there with Michigan State and Notre Dame. Washington takes on No. 17 Utah this Saturday, and the remainder of their schedule features Pac 12 teams: Cal, USC, Arizona State, and Washington State. If the Huskies do end up as the undefeated Pac 12 champs, I'd assume the CFP committee would have no other option than to grant them a playoff spot. But let's be honest, if Washington had to face off against Alabama in the playoff, that game would get uglier than Sloth from the Goonies. HEYYY YOU GUUYYYSS!

On the other side of this potential final four, a matchup between Clemson and Michigan would be one of those games that makes you genuinely appreciate the College Football Playoff. I'm thinking that these two squads will absolutely be in the playoff, and it just depends on how the seeding works out if we'll get to see them go against each other in the semifinal. Seeing Harbaugh and the Wolverines will be a refreshing change of scenery. A trip to the playoff for Michigan would entail a rivalry weekend victory over the Buckeyes, which shouldn't be a cake walk. But I think this Michigan defense is just too damn good for them to not find a way into one of those four playoff spots. They allow an average of only ten points per game, which is the best in the country. It'd be extremely interesting to see such a dominant defense go up against Deshaun Watson and his numerous targets.

Much like Michigan, Clemson's high playoff hopes have one major obstacle in the way. The Tigers take on Florida State this weekend, which is a matchup that seemed a little more noteworthy in the beginning of the season. The Seminoles have dropped two losses so far to Louisville and North Carolina, but have impressed with wins over Ole Miss and Miami. This ACC battle is interesting because both of these teams are capable of being very dangerous, but both teams have also had their fair share of looking pretty weak. Fortunately for Clemson, the games that they've performed in a subpar manner have still ended up as victories. But if Dabo Swinney's boys play like anything that resembles their close win over NC State two weeks ago, the playoff picture is about to be blown up. The Tigers go into Tallahassee as four point favorites this Saturday night.

So if the current top three does indeed make the playoff, and Washington somehow finds a way to not get in there, who would we be looking at for the fourth spot? Right now, the easy pick would be Louisville. Louisville is in a very similar position as Notre Dame was last year. The Fighting Irish were in the playoff picture for some time, with their resume highlighted by a few solid wins and a "good," close loss to Clemson, who was No. 1 at the time. Louisville's current resume is highlighted by laying a beatdown on Florida State and a nail biting 42-36 loss at Clemson. The remainder of Louisville's schedule shouldn't pose them any major problems: Virginia, BC, Wake Forest, Houston, and Kentucky. A few weeks back, the matchup against Houston was looking like it'd have some major playoff implications. But as we've seen, Houston just isn't as good as I initially thought. Some external factors would certainly have to fall into place for Louisville in order for them to get a playoff spot, but I do think they're a deserving team. If the Clemson game ends up being their only loss, it was a close enough game and early enough in the season for it to not diminish their playoff hopes.

The Big 12 currently has two undefeated teams in Baylor and West Virginia, but they face off in the last regular season game. The Big 12's idiotic lack of a conference championship is also something to take into consideration regarding the playoff picture, although this final regular season game will essentially serve as a conference championship if both teams are still unbeaten. I'm really hoping that the Big 12 will chew itself up, taking away the possibility of any teams in the conference being without a loss. It's known that I despise the Big 12, but even just for the quality of playoff games, I don't think a Big 12 team could compete with Alabama, Michigan, or Clemson.

Nebraska is still unbeaten and could potentially face Michigan in the B1G Championship game, but their playoff hopes rely on beating both Wisconsin and Ohio State in back to back weeks. If there were to be two teams from the same conference in the playoff, I wouldn't bet on the one-loss Texas A&M Aggies to achieve this since their loss to Alabama was not even close.

So my official College Football Playoff prediction (for now) is partially what I think will happen, blended with what I want to happen:

Alabama vs. Louisville and Clemson vs. Michigan.

I want to be excited for the Celtics

But they have about as good a chance as winning the NBA Championship this season as the Cleveland Browns do of winning the Super Bowl.

Welcome to the modern NBA, where you can make a case for no more than three teams to be hoisting the Larry O'Brien Trophy next June.

Interestingly enough, the two "Super Teams" went down by identical 29-point margins: the Cavs took down the Knicks, 117-88, while the Spurs embarrassed the Warriors, 129-100.

Yes the Knicks are a complete and utter joke but show me someone who says a team other than Cleveland, San Antonio or Golden State will win it all, and I'll show you the most forced contrarian taek of all-time.

POLL: Has Kevin Durant made the Warriors worse?

— First Take (@FirstTake) October 26, 2016

Close to it, anyways.

The Celtics just might be the fourth-best team in the NBA, and the second-best in the Eastern Conference. If we were living in a world where science could confirm LeBron still lacks the clutch gene, I might be able to talk myself into Celtics in 7 over the Cavs.

But the C's are nothing more than a plucky mid-major type of team, much like the kind Brad Stevens used to coach at Butler. They'll be entertaining as hell, sound defensively and garner more trade rumors for Boogie Cousins than Taylor Swift or a Kardashian romance rumor combined.

Even if they land the mercurial Boogie, there's no shot. The gap between the Celtics and the top three isn't that much smaller than the gap between the Celtics and the Nets or 76ers.

It's shaping up a lot like the 2015 NCAA Men's Basketball tournament. The Warriors are constructed like that John Calipari one-and-done juggernaut at Kentucky, whereas the Spurs are built like that Wisconsin powerhouse with Frank Kaminsky, Sam Dekker and Nigel Hayes.

On the other side of the aisle is LeBron and the Cavs, similar to the Duke team which won it all that season.

You remember those three teams from the Final Four, but you have to go back and look it up to realize that Michigan State was the fourth team.

Those are the Celtics. Better than the gap, not elite. And it's just hard for me to get too excited about a group that will win 50-55 games but have zero shot at winning 16 more after that.

It's not their fault necessarily, it's an NBA issue more than anything.

Danny Ainge deserves all kinds of credit for making the C's quasi-relevant so soon after the Pierce/Garnett/Allen exodus, requiring only one truly awful season (2013-14, when they finished 25-57) to get to where they are today. Going from awful to average was pretty seamless (25 wins to 40 wins in '15) and going from average to above-average wasn't all that bad either (40 to 48 wins in '16).

Leaping from above-average to a bona fide title contender is the hardest part, and Boston is somewhere in between those stages right now.

It's not an awful place to be in because at least you'll get to watch some competitive games, watch them put a scare into the great teams and beat up on the dregs of society.

But like the Cleveland Browns, who just may go 0-16, the end result is predetermined: no championship for you. If you're hoping for one, you're bound for a bigger disappointment than @DanaB_Number3's career at the Tavern.

Everything wrong with everything, NFL edition

Tomorrow morning at 9:30 a.m., the New York Giants will face the Los Angeles Rams at Twickenham Stadium in London.

That entire sentence is a neat microcosm of basically everything that's twisted in Roger Goodell's National Football League today.

First things first, London. The city that didn't ask for a team but just might get one anyways. I could think of a few American cities that are without a team...

...like St. Louis, which was robbed of the Rams last off-season.

'Robbed' may be a bit strong, as Los Angeles and St. Louis have now effectively played a 22-year long game of hot potato over the Rams, with the ball now back in LA's court.

Speaking of LA, wasn't the whole reason the NFL made its triumphant return to the second-largest city in the U.S. to increase ratings? How's that been working out?

The NFL was hardly "fine" without a team in the Los Angeles market, but that had literally less than zero to do with the fact there wasn't a team in Los Angeles. Did alienating an entire fan base to get back to the City of Angels justify the means?

Of course, if you think alienating one city is bad, how about alienating an entire gender?

The Giants' handling of the Josh Brown domestic violence incident has been nothing short of appalling, but you already knew that. Owner John Mara is a spineless, gutless weasel for not taking action on Brown before the public outcry forced his hand thanks to diligent reporting by Ralph Vacchiano of SNY.

Brown is now on the exempt list, with former Bears great Robbie Gould taking over kicking duties. You know what the exempt list is French for? A paid vacation. Yup, Brown will still be paid in full. The Giants could have released Brown, which would have been a dead cap hit of roughly $1.9 million (his salary is $1.6 million), according to Spotrac.

The business aspect is what it is, but when you consider the NFL spent almost $20 million on DeflateGate, what's $300,000 among friends (Mara was one of the owners at the forefront of the witch hunt with Goodell).

It's just another example that the Ray Rice incident of 2014 changed nothing. But it's okay, you can drape yourself in all the pink NFL apparel* you want to remind yourself the NFL cares about women!

*-for every $100 raised on pink NFL apparel, only $11.25 goes to breast cancer research. Look it up.

With Brown, you know what the real kicker is? Just that. It was Allen Iverson who once said "not a quarterback, not a quarterback...we talkin' bout a kicker."

This is the hill Mara and Giants head coach Ben McAdoo are going to die on?

McAdoo said on Friday "the team isn't going to abandon Brown," which is in stark contrast to some statements he made upon taking the head coaching gig. I believe the words he chose were along the lines of domestic violence being something he "won't tolerate as a head coach."

That's cute. He already showed he could waffle with the best of 'em back in August, when Brown drew his initial one-game suspension from the NFL. McAdoo said he supported Josh Brown "as a man, a father and a player." Even Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton and politicians everywhere are impressed with that kind of flip-flopping.

A one-game suspension, when domestic violence was supposed to be a six-game suspension following the Rice conundrum? How can Roger Goodell look his daughters or wife in the eye and tell them he cares about women?

Stop me if you've heard this before, but it sounds like the neither the NFL nor the Giants did enough digging into Brown's arrest in King County, Wash. in 2015. Just replace Brown with Rice and King County with Atlantic City and you've got yourself a carbon copy.

From a strict x's and o's standpoint, both the Giants and Rams are 3-3, which is right in line with how they've been for years. The Giants winning the Super Bowl with a 9-7, -6 point differential and Jeff Fisher's never-ending quest for .500 and all.

Throw out everything I just mentioned about Brown, London and Los Angeles/St. Louis, is a match-up of .500 teams enough to wake up at 9:30 on Sunday morning?

Hell no. Sunday mornings are for the Three Stooges and blue powerade. Again, the NFL forcing something down our collective throats that no one asked for.

"Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered," Mark Cuban said in March 2014, predicting the NFL was about 10 years away from implosion.

We're less than three years removed from that notion and I'm not saying doomsday is tomorrow, but literally everything wrong with the hoggy NFL will be on display early in the morning from across the pond.

Roger Goodell's day of reckoning can't be that far off. It just can't be.

Slowly but surely, we just might be seeing some seepage in the cracks. One owner called the Brown situation "embarrassing," while two league officials "believe the NFL was disinterested in the Brown case when compared to the fervor with which it pursued the New England Patriots over DeflateGate."

The NFL is salvageable, which feels odd to say when the average value of its franchises is $2.3 billion. What exactly needs to be salvaged?

Plenty. It starts at the top with that buffoon of a commissioner. I truly don't know what else needs to happen. Nothing's too big to fail and that includes the NFL.

Dare I say, the NFL needs a new commissioner to...make it great again?

The Bizarro 2016 Playoff Red Sox

All I ever wanted this summer was a baseball season, to have meaningful games to watch in August and September, and maybe, just maybe, in October.

Technically speaking, the Red Sox did just that, with plenty of meaningful games in the season's home stretch. They even won 11 games in a row at one point, right before they lost eight of their final nine (including the postseason). Terry Francona got fired for a slightly more elongated 7-20 stretch in 2011, though one could argue this was equally horrendous and certainly more inexcusable.

Lots of blame to go around over at Fenway, with truly no one player, coach or executive immune from criticism. This includes David Ortiz and Dustin Pedroia, two guys who've been around the block in October a few times; they were two of four Red Sox regulars who hit under .200 in the series vs. Cleveland (Jackie Bradley and Sandy Leon the others).

The quick flameout by the Sox was frustrating on a number of levels, constructed on two tiers.

The first one is somewhat subjective. You can't take away the 2013 World Series title...but if you could, the Red Sox haven't won a playoff game since Game 6 of the 2008 ALCS. Swept in 2009 and 2016, while they were absent every other year in between (again, 2013 aside).

The second tier is definitely bound by subjectivity, but at the onset of the postseason, you couldn't help but notice just how many former Red Sox players (or coaches and executives, for that matter) were scattered about the tournament.

It's inevitable for players to move on, what with free agency and trades, but it's really an abnormal amount of former Red Sox greats in the 2016 postseason.

So that meant only one thing: lineup time, similar to the Olympic baseball construction a few months back.

A few rules and quirks: 1) I included players even from teams that have been eliminated. I wish I'd thought of this before now, but it's also somewhat telling that the three teams remaining -- the Cleveland Indians, Chicago Cubs and Los Angeles Dodgers -- are the most represented anyways.
And 2) I had to do a little bit of shifting position wise, but nothing as absurd as, say, Hanley Ramirez playing outfield.

It's almost sad how little of a reach this is. You'll see the middle infield might not exactly be the Derek Jeter-Robinson Cano connection, but this would be a legitimate major league starting lineup, with four starting pitchers and even a few relievers. And a manager. And a general manager.

So consider it all, while realizing your worst fear and/or darkest, most twisted fantasy as a Red Sox fan nears reality: Tito vs. Theo for all the marbles. I've included a "Hurt Meter" for each member of the roster, to indicate just how much it hurts to see said person in another uniform (1-hit your funny bone to 10-paper cut between your toes).


C-David Ross
Current team: Chicago Cubs
Years in Boston: 2008; 2013-14
Hurt Meter: 1

It's true, Ross had two stints in Boston, making only nine plate appearances in 2008 in his audition to fill Doug Mirabelli's shoes as Tim Wakefield's sidekick. Things were a little more memorable upon his return, but since he left again, he's hit just a clip above the Mendoza line (.203) with the Cubs.


1B-Anthony Rizzo
Current team: Chicago Cubs
Years in Boston: 2007-2010 (minors only)
Hurt Meter: 6

Anthony Rizzo (and others) for Adrian Gonzalez really wasn't that bad a trade at the time. That's a fact.

Anthony Rizzo for Andrew Cashner. Now THAT is a bad trade, then, now and forever.

In the Padres' defense, Rizzo hit only one home run in 153 plate appearances for San Diego in 2011 after coming over in the Gonzalez deal. But it wasn't like he was performing that way on a contending team; the Padres' lack of patience with Rizzo is dumbfounding and the most shocking move in San Diego since the man punted Baxter.

The reality is that 2013 probably doesn't happen without the Gonzalez for Rizzo swap -- even though neither player was on the roster. How do other years shake out if Rizzo had stayed in Boston? That's reminiscent of the Jeff Bagwell question in the '90s, but at least Rizzo netted more of a return than Larry Andersen.


2B-Kelly Johnson
Current team: New York Mets
Years in Boston: 2014
Hurt Meter: 0

I could have gone Stephen Drew on the Nationals, but I didn't. Walter White could have saved Jane, but he didn't. Life goes on.


3B-Adrian Beltre
Current team: Texas Rangers
Years in Boston: 2010
Hurt Meter: 6

The nerd community has been banging the drum for years that Beltre is not only a Hall of Famer, but a first ballot one at that. Took awhile for me to come around but I've gotta say, I now agree. Get out of my face with WAR, but Beltre's counting stats are more than enough: 445 home runs, 2,942 hits, 591 doubles (19th all-time, and he could move into the top 10 -- ahead of David Ortiz -- by the end of next season).

So why doesn't this hurt more?

The reason I was lukewarm on Beltre's hall credentials was his Seattle years, where he was average at best for many of those years. Throw out 2004 for the Dodgers, same thing.

I won't bore you with all the numbers, just go to his baseball reference page. But prior to his arrival in Texas for 2011, his year with the Red Sox was the second-best of his then 13-year career by almost any measure. Screamed of another contract year (he was hurt in 2009 with Seattle), followed by another "he fooled me, Jerry!" moment/half-decade.


SS-Michael Martinez
Current team: Cleveland Indians
Years in Boston: 2016
Hurt Meter: 0

The Red Sox purchased Martinez's contract from the Indians on July 8. He went 1-for-6 with a walk before the Tribe grabbed him back off waivers on Aug. 4. Ramon's place as the No. 2 Martinez to ever wear a Red Sox jersey remains safe.


OF-Josh Reddick
Current team: Los Angeles Dodgers
Years in Boston: 2009-2011
Hurt Meter: 2

Reddick hit 32 home runs in his first full season as a big leaguer in Oakland (2012) and has hit 54 since. Nice player, but nothing to necessarily lose sleep over.


OF-Coco Crisp
Current team: Cleveland Indians
Years in Boston: 2006-2008
Hurt Meter: 3

I mean, he directly hurt the Red Sox this postseason. So that hurt, more so in the reminder it served that Drew Pomeranz is gonna be a thing moving forward, but hurt nonetheless.

Kudos to Coco for carving out a pretty solid career post-Boston, where he got Wally Pipped by Jacoby Ellsbury during the postseason run in '07.

Three quick things on Ellsbury: A) notice he's not on this list, because the Yankees missed the playoffs B) in the 2008 ALCS, Crisp went 9-for-20 while Ellsbury went 0-for-14 C) his contract is so bad (four years, almost $90 million still to go) I probably would've left him off anyways.


OF-Adrian Gonzalez
Current team: Los Angeles Dodgers
Years in Boston: 2011-2012
Hurt Meter: 5

*Gonzalez has played a little outfield for both the Red Sox and Dodgers. Work with me.

There's not a single player left on the Red Sox from the Gonzalez/Beckett/Crawford/Nick Punto(!) salary dump, while Gonzo is the lone player left on the Dodgers side of the trade. The Red Sox won the World Series 14 months after shedding the dead weight; LA still hasn't even been to the Fall Classic. Call me crazy, call me insane, call me what you will...but I think I'm okay with Hanley Ramirez being the first baseman here over Gonzalez?

The only way this one will hurt is if the Dodgers wind up winning it all this year and he plays a major role. Great base running by Gonzalez last night to really help his team (he was safe but replay can kick rocks).

Warrants mentioning, Gonzalez (a former No. 1 overall pick, then in the minors) was traded by the Marlins to the Rangers at the deadline way back in 2003 for another former Red Sox great/machete safety spokesman Ugueth Urbina. The Marlins went on to win the World Series.


DH-Mike Napoli
Current team: Cleveland Indians
Years in Boston: 2013-2015
Hurt Meter: 4

Napoli had one fewer home run this year (34) than he did in 2014 and 2015 combined (35).

Again, this isn't so much on the Red Sox getting rid of him; he really didn't have much value when he was a post-waiver deadline deal last August. But Texas has now let Napoli walk in free agency twice, after both 2012 and last season.


SP-Jon Lester
Current team: Chicago Cubs
Years in Boston: 2006-2014
Hurt Meter: 10

Jon Lester career postseason: 7-6, 2.57 ERA
David Price career postseason: 2-8, 5.54 ERA

Lester 2016 playoffs: 1-0, 0.64 ERA (14 innings)
Price 2016 playoffs: 0-1, 13.50 ERA (3 1/3 innings)

Jon Lester contract: six years, $156 million (four, $104 million remaining)
David Price contract: seven years, $217 million (six, $186 million remaining)

At Price's introductory press conference, John Henry mentioned other great aces in recent Red Sox history, such as Pedro Martinez, Curt Schilling and Josh Beckett, with Jon Lester conspicuously absent.

Is Jon Lester a Hall of Famer? Probably not. Did he deserve to have his No. 31 issued a year after his departure, to Alejandro de Aza and then Drew freaking Pomeranz? Considering Roger Clemens' No. 21 still hasn't been issued over 20 years after he left over contract squabbles (and a so-so 3.92 postseason ERA in Boston), I'd say no. But Larry Lucchino got that ball rolling with an insulting four year, $70 million offer in the spring of 2014.

Game 5 of the NLCS is tonight and aside from Madison Bumgarner there's not an active pitcher I'd want going for my team more than Jon Lester. That includes his opponent tonight, Clayton Kershaw.

This one more than hurts. This one straight up stings.


SP-John Lackey
Current team: Chicago Cubs
Years in Boston: 2010-2014
Hurt Meter: 6

The poker match that never was: Lackey vs. the Red Sox front office, seeing who would blink first when it came to Lackey playing in 2015 for the league minimum, as negotiated into his deal with Boston when he first signed in 2010.

We'll never know if it was a bluff of Lackey's part, but we do know that he did, in fact, pitch below poverty level at $507,500 for St. Louis in 2015 before signing with the Cubs for two years, $32 million last winter. And pitched damn well, at that, posting a 3.03 combined ERA over the two years.

Lackey's Red Sox legacy is complicated. His redemption in 2013 masks the fact he was on track to be one of the biggest free agent busts in team history, a failure beyond his 6.41 ERA in 28 starts in 2011.


SP-Rich Hill
Current team: Los Angeles Dodgers
Years in Boston: 2015
Hurt Meter: 4

As far as I can tell, he's the only active Bay State Conference alumnus in the big leagues. He also could have been a fantastic third or fourth starter at for a whopping $6 million, a.k.a 20 percent of what David Price makes per season.

PS I say third or fourth, because even though Eddie Rodriguez was the presumptive No. 3 playoff starter for the Red Sox, the nod wound up going to Buchholz. Not as egregious as, say, Buck Showalter not using Zach Britton at all in the AL Wild Card game, but it's worthy of further discussion.


SP-Bartolo Colon
Current team: New York Mets
Years in Boston: 2008
Hurt Meter: 2

In a vacuum, Colon's presence on the Mets in 2016 rather than the Red Sox means nothing. He did go missing in 2009, which a fair amount of people forget.

In reality, having Big Sexy around for Papi's swan song would have been pretty incredible. Colon also made his big league debut in 1997; could he have convinced Ortiz to ditch the sham of a farewell tour and hang around forever?

Alright that last part isn't quite reality, but this is: Colon would have been a better candidate to pitch in the postseason that either Buchholz or Pomeranz.


RP-Andrew Miller
Current team: Cleveland Indians
Years in Boston: 2011-2014
Hurt Meter: 5

Said hurt meter could rise or fall in the next couple of seasons depending on the emergence of Eduardo Rodriguez. If Eddie Rod does pan out? Red Sox fans shouldn't care about seeing Miller elsewhere -- even with his newly minted ALCS MVP award -- but we might want to check in down at Camden Yards. The O's traded Rodriguez to the Red Sox at the deadline in 2014 for two months of Miller, who was great for a Baltimore team that wound up losing in the ALCS, not giving up a run in 7 1/3 innings that postseason before he signed with the Yankees in the off-season.


RP-Javier Lopez
Current team: San Francisco Giants
Years in Boston: 2006-2009
Hurt Meter: 1

Did you know Lopez was on all three Giants teams that won it all? Life comes at you quick.


Manager-Terry Francona
Current team: Cleveland Indians
Years in Boston: 2004-2011
Hurt Meter: 7

There may be no more telling sign that Francona needed to go than the fact he took a year off from managing in 2012 before returning to the dugout with the Indians in 2013.

Then again, if you knew his direct successors would be Bobby Valentine and John Farrell, you'd deliver the case of Budweiser and family feed from Kenny Rogers' Roasters over to Fenway yourself.

If you want to draw your own conclusions on Tito, his book with Shaugnessy was pretty great. Shines a light on the identity crisis the Red Sox seemingly faced in 2010 and 2011 in particular.


General Manager-Theo Epstein
Current team: Chicago Cubs
Years in Boston: 2003-2011
Hurt Meter: 9

Big ticket free agents never worked out all that well for Theo in Boston, with Keith Foulke the lone exception to the rule. Edgar Renteria, Julio Lugo, JD Drew, John Lackey (sort of) and Carl Crawford were all disasters to varying degrees.

None of them can even hold a candle to the Jason Heyward debacle in Chicago, which is only one year down and seven years, $161 million to go...

...and yet the Cubs just might win the World Series anyways, just as the Red Sox did the same year they splurged on Drew and Lugo.

And that's because pretty much every facet of Epstein's executive game is flawless. Drafting, drafting drafting...but also the ability to assemble a bullpen, finding guys off the scrap heap (Kevin Millar, Bill Mueller, and yes, David Ortiz), and keeping players from free agency/having them come back to haunt you.

Johnny Damon's departure hurt about 10 times more than it should have because he went to the Yankees, but it was hardly 'haunting'; Coco Crisp wasn't the perfect replacement, but Epstein had drafted Jacoby Ellsbury in the first round in 2005, likely in anticipation of Damon's exodus. And wouldn't ya know it, the Red Sox won in 2007 sans Damon, with Ellsbury's emergence a major storyline.

Theo's Hurt Meter is likely to only keep rising. Even if the Cubs don't pull out the NLCS this year, that team is locked and loaded for another five years minimum.

Special bonus: imagine if San Diego was actually good and Don Orsillo was calling some NLCS or even World Series action?

SEC vs. BIG 10: Which conference is currently more intriguing?

We're still pretty far from the third edition of the College Football Playoff, but now that everyone has a better idea of what teams are legit, playoff predictions are starting to become a bit more educated. It's pretty safe to assume that any undefeated team from a Power Five conference will earn a playoff berth, and all five of those conferences feature at least one unbeaten squad. The ACC has Clemson and the Pac 12 has Washington. The Big 12 has two undefeated teams in Baylor and West Virginia, with neither team cracking the top 10 (Baylor No. 11 and West Virginia No. 20).

Things get really interesting regarding the four-team playoff when we take a look at the BIG 10 and the SEC. The SEC has two teams left that have yet to suffer a loss: No. 1 Alabama (surprise, surprise) and No. 6 Texas A&M. And although the Aggies took down Tennessee last week, the Vols still sit within the top ten at the No. 9 spot. Things seem even more interesting as Tennessee seeks to dish 'Bama their first loss this Saturday in Knoxville. Personally, I don't think the Crimson Tide will fall short of a win in this one. Saban and the boys are 13 point favorites heading into Saturday. So assuming that Alabama remains at the top spot in the rankings after their trip to Knoxville, they'll enter next week in preparation for the only other undefeated SEC team, Texas A&M. Luckily for the Aggies, they have a bye this week and will be plenty rested compared to the Tide, who might be a little banged up after a top 10 conference matchup. We'll look deeper into that game when the time comes, but I've learned over the years to never doubt Alabama. Year in and year out, 'Bama is the most reliable team regarding success, so I tend to just stick with them until they prove me wrong.

The discussion of having two teams from the same conference in the playoff is a difficult one, and a lot of things need to fall into place such as other conferences crumbling among themselves. But let's talk about some hypothetical scenarios here. If 'Bama does top Tennessee and Texas A&M in back to back weeks, the only remaining challenge would be the Iron Bowl against No. 23 Auburn. I don't think Auburn would take down 'Bama this year, but then again we've seen some crazy stuff in the Iron Bowl. After playing Alabama, the Aggies' biggest remaining challenge will come when they host No. 12 Ole Miss on Nov. 12. That'd be a great win late in the season for A&M, and I think that if they finished the regular season with only one loss to the unbeaten, No. 1 team in the country, it would warrant a playoff berth. But again, that would also be reliant on the Pac 12 and Big 12 not having any undefeated squads by the end of the regular season.

The current state of the BIG 10 is very similar to the SEC, except it's a bit deeper for now. The BIG 10 has three unbeaten teams as of right now, and four teams in the top ten. The conference boasts No. 2 Ohio State, No. 4 Michigan, No. 8 Wisconsin, and No. 10 Nebraska. The Badgers are the only one of those four that has a digit greater than zero in the loss column, which came in a 14-7 loss to Michigan at the Big House. The Badgers will be heavily tested again this Saturday as they host the No. 2 Buckeyes. Wisconsin is an eleven point underdog against Ohio State, which is the same spread that Sconnie covered against Michigan. The Badgers were also 13.5 point underdogs when they took down LSU at Lambeau. So don't let that double digit spread fool you, Wisconsin is capable of beating Ohio State. It's just a matter of if they, and their fans, bring their A-game.

The only regular season matchup between these four teams that we won't get to see is Nebraska vs. Michigan, but that could happen for the BIG 10 Championship Game. I think the only way that we could see two BIG 10 teams in the College Football Playoff this year is if Wisconsin beats Ohio State this weekend while failing to lose for the remainder of the season, and if Michigan wins out. However, the likeliness of Michigan finishing the season undefeated is obviously dependent on the outcome of their rivalry game with Ohio State at the end of the regular season. And Wisconsin's likeliness of winning out is challenged by the Buckeyes this week, along with their game against Nebraska on Oct. 29. There even could be a scenario where we see Wisconsin face off against Michigan in the BIG 10 Championship. If they took down Michigan in that game, could we see the both of them in the playoff? If they lose to Michigan again, how would two losses to a playoff team compare to just one (like the hypothetical A&M/'Bama situation)? All of these hypotheticals are making my head spin, but that's why the College Football Playoff is great.

If there were to be two BIG 10 playoff teams, I think it'd have to be Michigan and Wisconsin. Even if Ohio State's only loss was to Michigan, that's too late of a loss in the season. I feel like that would be too fresh of a loss for the playoff committee to grant them a spot. And if Ohio State beats Michigan, Wisconsin's loss to the Wolverines wouldn't be as valuable. But if Wisconsin beats Ohio State, and then Ohio State beats Michigan...well...I'm lost on that situation. For the Corn Huskers, they'll have to go unbeaten the rest of the season in order to get in, which would probably leave them as the sole BIG 10 representative in the playoff.

So after all of that rambling, to answer my question: the BIG 10 currently has the more intriguing landscape in comparison to the SEC. There are just so many different situations that could play out, all of which we as spectators have zero control over.

While we're chatting about a potential playoff picture that would feature two teams from the same conference, if the other conferences chew themselves up, the ACC could possibly have Clemson and Louisville. Louisville's remaining schedule is not that strong, with the exception of their Nov. 17 battle at No. 13 Houston. If the Cardinals do pull of that win, it won't be quite as valuable as once thought after Houston dropped their first loss to Navy. But if Louisville ends the regular season with only one loss to a potentially undefeated Clemson team and a potential Heisman winner, they could certainly earn a playoff spot.

Alright, my brain is officially mush after all of those "potentials" and "hypotheticals." If there's one thing you can take away from my ramblings, it's that the College Football Playoff is just simply the best.

Papi's Last Stand

I have absolutely positively zero idea what's gonna happen in the Red Sox game tonight. Every single sign points to them losing, namely the whole Clay Buchholz saving the season thing, but maybe the juju is so bad that it all cancels out, sort of like when Mr. Burns has every single disease known to man kind and they all merge together to a virus so big it can't fit inside his immune system? I don't know.

What I do know is that I'll have two trains of thought by the time Game 3 of the ALDS ends this evening. I'll be at Fenway and I really hope I don't have to rely on a silver lining of "hey at least I have the ticket stub to Ortiz's last game." Per the Elias Sports Bureau, Boston teams are 5-5 all-time when I'm in attendance at a post-season game; 5-4 with the Bruins, 0-1 with the Celtics. Took me exactly 26 years to get to a Sox playoff game but here we are.

So anyways, anything in normal type is what I'll think as the optimist that I am, anything in italic type is a deep, dark place I should really think about seeing a psychiatrist for. One more thing to consider before we begin...

I've never pinned a tweet, so here it goes: David Ortiz is not retiring -- unless the Red Sox win the World Series. So I guess he is?

— Jake Levin (@JakeLevin477) July 22, 2016

...of those 22 likes, I think 20 are porn bots. Call it Papi's Playhouse. Away we go...