The episode originally aired on Feb. 20, 1992, so it's the 25th anniversary of the original airing this year.
Rather remarkable on a number of levels. The episode still holds up really well, based on the original 10-man lineup. There's three players already inducted into the Hall of Fame themselves, two players currently managing MLB teams, and a whole lot of steroid accusations.
The Simpsons just wrapped up its 28th season, certainly remarkable in its own right. Most say the show entered its decline phase in the late '90s; I personally say it was watchable up until 2004 or so, and once beefed with Simpsons twitter over such. Either way, the show has lasted quite some time.
Remaking episodes, movies, etc. can always be dicey. So what I put together is more of an idea of what players the Simpsons writing staff would try to secure for such an episode if it were to be made today. It's not necessarily the all-star team, but it's not the San Diego Padres opening day lineup, either.
The best part of the original, of course, is the odd ailments which befall all of the ringers (save for one, before he's replaced by Homer as a pinch hitter in the bottom of the ninth.)
Not every ailment/incident was necessarily indicative of what the players were like in real life. Some were, some weren't, but they were all hilarious. So I've made my best attempt at determining the best way each player would meet their demise in the 2017 version of "Homer at the Bat," using mainly traits from the players in real life - but also incorporating Simpsons characters into the skits.
Here's your starting lineup for the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant as it gets set to take on Shelbyville.
Catcher: Buster Posey, San Francisco Giants
Original episode: Mike Scoscia, Los Angeles Dodgers
Posey, truly, is maybe the only recognizable name to casual fans at catcher right now. Yadier Molina's last name certainly is, and if it were just last season, renowned weenie AJ Pierzynski would be an A-plus candidate for this spot, but he's since retired.
Posey is in the news lately, too, for kind of sort of maybe not having Hunter Strickland's back when he drilled Bryce Harper?
Demise: During a practice open to the public, Posey decides not to partake in a brawl after Harper is hit during batting practice. Fat Tony happens to see Posey's actions, deems him a rat, and does what Fat Tony does best.
First base: Carlos Santana, Cleveland Indians
Original episode: Don Mattingly, New York Yankees
For as deep as first base is, there are very few "characters" at the position. You've got some washed up big names like Albert Pujols and Joe Mauer, you've got uber-talented guys like Paul Goldschmidt and Joey Votto who no one really knows about, the recently-retired David Ortiz who I'd qualify at first, and you've got very good players like an Anthony Rizzo, Eric Hosmer and Edwin Encarnacion, just to name a few more...
...Santana is about as middle of the road as it gets; a genuinely good player who recently played in the World Series, but casual fans probably won't know who he is. Frankly, I'm not sure I've ever seen an interview with him.
Having said all that, everyone knows who Carlos Santana is.
Oye come va indeed.
Second base: Jose Altuve, Houston Astros
Original episode: Steve Sax, Chicago White Sox
Coin toss between Altuve and Dustin Pedroia, but I'm going with Altuve because I want to see him standing next to another ringer Mr. Burns brings in (seen below. You'll know what I mean.)
Altuve is listed at 5-foot-6, but I'm skeptical he's even that tall. Nevertheless, he can hit, and America better get used to the Houston Astros. They are prettay, prettay, prettay, prettay good. Best record in baseball as we wake up on the first day in June.
Demise: Altuve, wearing lifts, sneaks into Itchy & Scratchy Land to make minimum height for all of the good rides. But he takes his lifts off while on a roller coaster and, well...gets launched quite a long way.
Third base: Adrian Beltre, Texas Rangers
Original episode: Wade Boggs, Boston Red Sox
Duplicating Wade Boggs wouldn't be easy. Guys who slam 60 beers on a cross country flight don't exactly grow on trees. But Beltre does have an endearing quality of his own: his penchant for freaking out when someone touches his head.
Beltre, it would seem, does not have the greatest sense of humor about his head being touched. But fortunately, it would only be an animated version of himself suffering. Maybe he'd go for that one. Maybe.
Demise: How about Hans Moleman is stuck in a sewer hole or something, and Beltre lifts him out of the crevice. As Beltre holds the diminutive Moleman up, Hans goes to pat him on the head to thank him for his rescue; unfortunately, Beltre does not take kindly to the gratitude and proceeds to send Moleman back into the sewer - just as Chief Wiggum & Co. arrive, giving the order to "take him away, boys."
Shortstop: Addison Russell, Chicago Cubs
Original episode: Ozzie Smith, St. Louis Cardinals
I mean, do you have a better idea? There are better shortstops playing (Corey Seager, Carlos Correa, Francisco Lindor, to name a few) but unless you're a big baseball guy, you probably had to look up who they all played for. Or who they are at all. Let's face it, the power vacuum at short with Jeter retired is bigger than the gap of meth distribution in the greater Albuquerque area after Heisenberg offed Gus Fring.
But Russell is the choice for a few reasons: he played on the team that somewhat famously won the World Series last year, he has an affinity for iconic animation, as Jess Mendoza taught us on Sunday Night Baseball earlier this season, and he'll only require a line or two. He's somewhat of an introvert, judging by his Pardon My Take appearance. Not every guest star has to be a loudmouth.
Demise: Gotta be something to do with Pokemon. Let's say Russell is playing "Pokemon Go" and doesn't look both ways before crossing the street and Snake hits him as he's driving a get-away car.
Left field: Aaron Judge, New York Yankees
Original episode: Jose Canseco, Oakland Athletics
You need a Yankee if you're going to make this work, and who better right now than Aaron Judge? He has a legit chance to become just the third player ever to win Rookie of the Year and MVP in the same season (Fred Lynn, Ichiro). He's bigger than Rob Gronkowski, standing 6-foot-6, 285 pounds. His last name is 'Judge.' Somewhat amazing he's not a bigger folk hero already.
Demise: Pretty sure the Simpsons writing staff could have some fun with the 'judge' thing here. Aaron could be walking by the Springfield Municipal Courthouse, hear someone call out for Judge Constance Harm but mistake the cue as someone calling for him, and he gets roped into becoming a judge for the day, unable to attend the big game vs. Shelbyville.
Center field: Bryce Harper,
Original episode: Ken Griffey Jr., Seattle Mariners
Harper is technically a corner outfielder, but you can't do the episode without the most electric player in the game. Harper gets the nod over Mike Trout because Trout is, well, boring. Harper swears at umps, shows up pitchers, charges the mound, admonishes reporters by remarking "that's a clown question, bro," and will probably be a Yankee in two years. Plenty to love to hate about all of that.
Demise: People forget that Harper is a practicing Mormon, and abstains from alcohol. So let's have him get in a fight with Barney Gumble at Moe's Tavern, just like Boggs in the original.
Right field: Jose Bautista, Toronto Blue Jays
Original episode: Darryl Strawberry, Los Angeles Dodgers
Two words: bat flip. People absolutely hate Joey Bats for one reason or another, which is even more fascinating because he plays in Toronto. Imagine if he played for the Yankees or Red Sox? He'd be the bad boy of baseball on an even larger scale.
Is Bats self aware enough to be part of the joke of appearing on the show? He seems to have slowed his Twitter activity a bit...although if I'm not mistaken, his cover photo is him right after the bat flip heard 'round the world against Texas in the 2015 ALDS.
Demise: Easy. Bats is finishing up his meal at Krusty Burger. Satisfied, he goes to emphatically flip his trash into the waste bin, but misfires and knocks lighter fluid into a deep fryer, causing the building to engulf in flames.
Pitcher: Chris Sale, Boston Red Sox
Original episode: Roger Clemens, Boston Red Sox
This was a hard choice between Sale and Madison Bumgarner, undoubtedly two of the top five or so pitchers in the game today. Each pitcher comes with their quirks, as well as recent incidents that could undoubtedly be made fun of on the show: Sale's uniform incident and Bumgarner's dirt bike mishap. I'll go with Sale solely for this idea...
Demise: Did you see the uniforms the Springfield team had to wear in the original episode? If I know Chris Sale like I think I do, he would not be okay with those. So he'll take his scissors to the uniforms again, drawing the ire of Mr. Burns, but also slicing his left thumb in the process, leaving him unable to pitch.
Another question down the line: could the 2017 edition of the Springfield ringers beat the 1992 version? Only time will tell.
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