MEGA conundrum looming Columbus Day Weekend

I should note, this is a conundrum that is not quite set in stone. It's a conundrum that seems far less plausible than the host of NBC's hit reality series "The Apprentice" becoming president of the United States, but it's a conundrum nonetheless:

There is the POTENTIAL for Tom Brady's return from suspension to coincide with David Ortiz's final game ever.

Here's what we know: the Patriots will face the University of Rhode Island's football team the Cleveland Browns on Sunday, Oct. 9 at 1 p.m. This is signed, sealed and delivered.

What we also know is that Game 3 of each American League Division Series will be taking place that day, at times to be determined.

This is where the unknowns begin to roll in. First things first, the Red Sox need to win one of their final five games (or see the Toronto Blue Jays lose one of their final five games, three of which happen to be vs. Boston) to clinch the American League East, thus assuring themselves a spot in the ALDS. Not a big guarantee guy -- I've been burned in the past -- but I feel fairly confident in saying the Boston Red Sox are your 2016 AL East champs.

So let's assume the above to be true.

The next variable is one I believe we'll be accommodated on. I don't think MLB will schedule a Red Sox game at or coinciding with 1 p.m. There's historical precedence here: Game 4 of the 2004 ALCS was played at night following a 30-20 Patriots victory over the Seattle Seahawks, and who can forget a similar scenario in 2013, when Brady hit Kenbrell Thompkins for a game-winning score over the Saints a few hours before this.

Now again, this is worst-case scenario we're talking, but what if MLB doesn't accommodate the New England market?

And to go truly doom and gloom...let's say Rick Porcello loses a 1-0 heartbreaker at home in Game 1, followed by David Price getting shelled in Game 2...and the Red Sox are down 0-2, meaning another loss would equal the end of David Ortiz's career?

The formal question: if Tom Brady's return from suspension airs at the same time as David Ortiz's potentially last game, which event will your eyes be glued on? And before you scream "uhhh hey Lev, ever heard of DVR?" Yes I have. Doesn't work for live sports, and my landlord is too cheap to pay for it anyways.

After extensively conducting some market research yesterday (I asked two people), the consensus was, no matter what, football rules.

What's interesting is that my sample size was in what you'd consider baseball's go-to demo (late 40s/early 50s). My barber (Paul up at Pete's in Hingham, great guy and a better haircut) and former boss at Pro Sports, Keith (speaking of which, RIP in peace to Pro Sports; it outlasted Sports Authority) both said Brady's first game back, no matter what.

Last time I had to make this type of live-viewing decision was September 2013, when the Breaking Bad finale went head-to-head with a Patriots-Falcons Sunday night game. I went with Heisenberg's sendoff live and caught most of the fourth quarter, and I regret nothing.

Hopefully this is much ado about nothing, the Sox get a prime time game at 7 or 8 at night -- with a 2-0 lead over the Indians, no less! -- and Oct. 9 can put the Funday back in Sunday once and for all.

I'm on record that short of actually winning the World Series, I still think John Henry is giving David Ortiz a $34 million check to play next season (symbolism for No. 34). But juuuuuuuuuust in case the games are on at the same time and juuuuuuuuuust in case it really is Papi's last stand...no-brainer, I'm going with the Sox.

Tom Brady isn't worried about the Cleveland Browns, and neither should you. He's worried about Super Bowl LI in Houston on Feb. 5.

And if for some reason your Sunday gets away from you while celebrating the Red Sox win, enjoy your 87 cent iced coffee the next morning for some reassurance that the Patriots are 5-0.