The Coffee Conundrum

I've written about many things through the years, but one thing I've never masqueraded as is a food critic.

I mean sure, I've trashed the quality of mediocre pizza joints in the greater Narragansett, R.I. area in the past, but that's only been done in 140 characters or less.

Ordinarily I'd leave a topic this polarizing to the heavy hitters, to those with Yelp accounts, but this one's too important to leave in the hands of amateurs.

I'm talking of course about the Dunkin' Donuts vs. Starbucks (vs. Honey Dew vs. Marylous) debate. But Honey Dew and Marylous are about as relevant as Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. This is the Gryffindor and Slytherin show between Dunkies and Starbucks.

The Starbucks vs. Dunkin' Donuts debate is among the most polarizing on the planet. Talk about any hot button issue you can think of and it spews more vitriol than pretty much every other combined.

I know few, if any, fence straddlers here. Your straws are either green or they're hot pink and orange in the morning. You don't wear a Red Sox hat and a Yankees shirt, and you don't watch CNN only to flip over to Fox News during commercials. It's one or the other.

Heading into yesterday, I had an inkling Honey Dew was going to actually be the best of the three I tested. Marylous missed the cut in part because it doesn't exist in Warwick, in part because I'm not 18 anymore and don't need a gallon of sugar in my coffee. As a matter of fact I don't need sugar in any coffee anymore, especially nothing like a Sweet N' Low.

I actually put out a poll question in June asking of the four, which one would you cut first. The results there were disappointing, but not surprising. No respect for the local flavor.

So anyways, with a little help from the Barnes Road Tavern production crew, I did a blind taste test of Dunkies, Starbucks and Honey Dew. I assure you this was a valid test, not rigged in the slightest. Where do your allegiances lie? Let us know here at the Barnes Road Tavern.